SELF CONFIDENCE/WEIGHT ISSUES + WHERE TO PURCHASE PLUS SIZED CLOTHES: FOR THE LARGER SIZED BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

Hi people,

I trust you all had a lovely Christmas. I decided to write this post to encourage ladies out there that feel uncomfortable with their weight. I was inspired to do this by a friend of mine who admitted to me that she cannot undress in the presence of her husband unless the lights are switched off because she is embarrassed about her weight. Although I have told her many times that she's beautiful, she doesn't believe me, as she thinks that I'm just saying it to make her feel better about herself. She has also had to put up with rude comments from inconsiderate people.

If you feel the same way, you must learn to ignore snide remarks and don’t allow anyone put you down. The people who do this are just sad and know no better, so don’t let them get to you. Sometimes people inadvertently pass rude comments.

I once ran into an old acquaintance at a party, one of the times I travelled to Nigeria. The last time we saw each other, which was years back, I was a UK size 10. Apparently surprised at my new fuller size 14 figure, she kept shouting loudly, “You are so fat, have you got a child”? I hadn’t at the time and she knew this, but it was just her way of cementing her rudeness. Whether she was aware or not that calling someone “fat” was rude, na she sabi oh…but I decided to “return the favour” after she had shouted about my “fatness” for the umpteenth time. This woman has two small tribal marks on her cheeks, so I just looked at her and asked, “what happened to your face”? Not understanding (mumu), she touched her face and asked me, “where”? So I replied, “damn did you have a run in with a tiger or something”? I walked off as I heard people erupting into fits of giggles. That would teach her to call another person fat. Bush woman!!!

For anyone else that feels down about their weight, the first step is to believe that you are beautiful (which you truly are) and work on your confidence. We are all different body shapes/sizes and the variety is what creates this beauty. If all of us were stick thin size zero shapes, can you imagine how boring that would be?! Not everyone was made to look like a model. Many of us have lost the bodies we used to have due to childbirth and we should be proud that our bodies bear the evidence of such amazing feats.

The second step is to dress fashionably, according to your body shape, not drawing attention to bulges and accentuating your best assets. For instance, if you have a "jelly belly", don’t let your tummy "escape" from any attire like the lady here. Always keep it covered up. Moreover, even if you have rock solid abs, at certain ages, women should dress like adults and not teenagers.

I have a friend who is a UK size 24 and she is very pretty and fashionable. She always looks impeccably well groomed. She has short hair, which looks really good on women her size; she dresses really well and her nails, hair and make up are always immaculately done. She is one of the most self confident people I have ever known and her bubbly personality is so infectious, you can’t help but warm to her. She just loves herself and this positive attitude of hers is what gets her through.

For those that resort to plastic surgery, God made us in such a way that we should age gracefully, not to try and have firmer boobs even at the age of 60. I have seen documentaries of people who have developed gangrene (flesh eating disease) on their boobs after surgery and people with disfigured faces all because of plastic surgery. Someone once told me that she intends to use soya oil implants instead of silicone, as it's less poisonous (woreva!). The truth is that we don't need these things. A good support bra, nice clothes and make up is more than enough to do the job.

If you can, try and exercise (even if it's walking for 30mins everyday) and do sit ups for your tummy. Watch your diet- e.g. cut your food portions to half of what you'd usually eat. It's actually better to eat little and often rather than to skip breakfast and compensate by bingeing on a very huge lunch. Cut out sugary drinks/food, don't eat too much carbs, drink a lot of water and try not to eat after 7pm. If you are feeling peckish after 7pm, snack on fruits/veg (I love cocumber) like oranges, apples or grapes. Try to avoid bananas when it’s late, as they are high in calories. Grapefruit (not grapes) is also great for slimming.

Even if you do not have the will power to diet/exercise, just be comfortable with your body shape and believe that you are beautiful. You wouldn't believe how many men prefer larger sized ladies (any Calabar men in da house??? lol). Like I said earlier on, the trick is to dress fashionably to accentuate your assets. For instance, you can wear lovely caftans with three quarter length trousers/jeans, gypsy dresses or even other lovely dresses with footless tights/jeans or very long slim-line skirts and accessorize with chunky/slim belts, beaded/chunky neckwear, bangles, hats/caps, etc; even fashionable skirt/trouser suits. Dark colours would also make you appear slimmer. I know that some stores only offer plain/dowdy clothes for fuller figured women, so I thought to also share with you, a French catalogue that I discovered last year which makes very fashionable clothes ranging from UK sizes 8-32, at very affordable prices. It's called Bon Prix. Google it up and see what they have to offer.

Finally, to boost your confidence even further, if you live in the UK, Channel 4 air a program called "How To Look Good Naked". It is hosted by Gok Wan and I cannot describe to you the magic he does to women whose confidence have hit an all time low due to weight issues or body hang ups; let's just say that by the end of the programme, these same women would have had their confidence levels so boosted by him, that they'd be raring to model in bikinis! I can't go into it all now, but I must admit that the guy is an ace. If you don't live in the UK, you can also Google up "How To Look Good Naked" and see what it's all about or watch it online.

Have a lovely day ladies and remember: you are beautiful!!!

Much love. xxx